i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
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