Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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