Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
