sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
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His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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