He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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