ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
