so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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