I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
