office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
All the doctor said was why
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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