and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The ass gains better be worth it
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