I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
