whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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