Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My room smells like vodka and shame
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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