i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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