We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
