So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
