Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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