Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
