Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
