Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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