ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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