What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize