Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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