its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
