last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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