'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
