OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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