I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
