i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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