Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
