JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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