Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
