dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
