So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
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