She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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