she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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