And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
