Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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