I think i peed on brittanys purse
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
