Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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