There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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