I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
