i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
