oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
is wine microwaveable?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
