I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize