Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
