I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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