well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
