if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
