There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
