his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
