I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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