Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
