I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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