ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
