He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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