I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
