): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
