my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
