No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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