I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
