I'm lost and stupid without you.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
