Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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