SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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